“Deep Discipleship” Adapted from Chasing the Sage, by Bud Lamb
The BIG IDEA
Deep discipleship — our lifelong process of God conforming us into the image of His Son, leaching out all that needs to go, chiseling out character defects, refining all that remains, and healing our masculine soul. Man, it is a lifelong process!
The Bible says…Husbands, love your wives… Ephesians 5:25 NASB
Typically God uses marriage to get at those places in me — those places I try, without success, to hide. This is God’s agenda from the get-go, but he will not override our resistance.
Sooner or later, when the pain of our disease becomes greater than our fear of the remedy,
God begins this deep work in us. It truly is deep discipleship.
As a husband, I’ve been a very slow learner.
A year ago last summer, on a three-month road trip with my wife, I slammed into the truth. Yes, I mean the truth that I did not know how to love well. It was so painful, yet cleansing, to say it out loud to me and eventually to Lea Ann.
The words I chose were I am having a hard time loving you. I didn’t say, You are a hard person to love.
The misunderstanding came out of the blue and created a hard few days or weeks until we both came to see that it was a statement about me and not her.
The first thing I did was memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-11.
Yes, memorizing this was painfully slow – it took me almost two months to get it down. It became my daily reading and reflection and over time my head became familiar with the rhythm and flow of what is commonly referred to as “The Love Chapter.”
More importantly, my heart began to beat, yes, to beat to the rhythm of love.
Over the next ten months, via daily reflection and pursuit of learning how to love like Jesus, I began to make micro-movements as I began to become patient, and kind…
I came to understand Jesus’ teaching on love truly was/is designed by Him to become our way. His Way is to become our way.
Everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40
Jesus’ Way is to work on my side of the street, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, extend forgiveness, see myself as a broken person in need of a Savior and all others the same way. Practice compassion as a style of living. Be generous.
The funny thing about this way of navigating love is that loving like this is impossible for an orphan or a boy-man.
Why?
Because we orphans and boy-men are so preoccupied with hiding our wounds by busyness, medication, and blame.
When we hit the wall of love and hear the voice of the Father inviting us to navigate toward His Way, then we have a chance to get it right.
Chasing the Sage is learning to love like Jesus.
Husbandship, loving our wives as Jesus loves us, is the final exam in the school of Sage. We can’t move into Sage if we avoid the test of love.
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