I woke up drenched in stinking thinking.
Oh, I didn’t know it was stinking thinking. It was such a family line of thought. Comfortable but not quite. Like a hangover, familiar, but not fun. That stinking thinking was all about being a poser, a fake, dying alone, aging eating top ramen in a studio apartment with people down the hall watching tv and complaining about the heat. Lies from the enemy designed to discourage me.
My breath, my heart started to beat to the rhythm of this verse.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose heart is are fixed on You. Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
And then another.
I call upon the name of the Lord and I am saved from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:4
I call upon the name of the Lord and I am saved from my enemies.
I call upon the name of the Lord and I am saved from my enemies.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
I call upon the name of the Lord and I am saved from my enemies.
I call upon the name of the Lord and I am saved from my enemies.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose hearts are fixed on You.
Breathing to the rhythm of these truths ever so slowly the Father sat with me as I leached stinking thinking and ingested truth.
I am a beloved son.
This week has drained me. Teaching Monday night, preparing to teach Tuesday night, writing Sunday afternoon, and again earlier today. And then the seeming non-stop details and conversations, all of which involved thoughtful communication.
I choose You Father.
To sit with and enjoy. To let You breathe truth into my heart. Now all this passes as clouds moving from left to right.