“Forgiving My Father” Adapted from Chasing the Sage, by Bud Lamb
The BIG IDEA
I found myself facing the fact that I had been blaming my Dad for my shallow life. He had emotionally and spiritually abandoned me and my family. I blamed him for his physical and emotional abuse, for his lack of leadership in our home, and his hiding out brooding in his room while the rest of the family was playing in the swimming pool. I needed to forgive my Dad.
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34
I was cold-cocked by a turning point in the relationship between an estranged father and son by a line in Prodigal Father Wayward Son, co-authored by Sam Keen (age 70+) and his son Gifford Keen (mid 50’s). I was reminded of how it was between my Dad and me.
Son, Gifford, after many years of resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness broke through. When he was about 50 (and his dad in his early 70’s) he began to see his dad’s failures as a man looking at him in the mirror.
Gifford realized “…the statute of limitations has run out now.” Gifford could no longer blame his Dad for the failure of his own life. He needed to forgive.
I owned up to my side of the street. I came to the simple, yet painful realization that I could no longer hold my father accountable for the current state of my life — that what got me here was a series of my own choices.
I saw in myself the image of my father, a man doing the best he could and failing miserably. The playing field became level. My father became a peer in my eyes. I discovered common ground and I began to forgive my father.
It took years of estrangement to find common ground; but, sitting on a bench facing north one windy day in October at Echo Lake in the Sierra Nevada Range in California…we did. I was 55 and Dad was 76. From behind, we looked like two old friends. From the front…yes, we looked like father and son. From above, we looked like reconciliation and redemption.
Forgive my father? You’ve got to be kidding!!!
Forgiveness does not mean what they did was right. It does not deny what happened or the pain inflicted or the damage done. Forgiveness simply says, “I will no longer make you pay…”
No, I’m not kidding.
You cannot move forward without forgiveness.
What matters is not how we start but how we finish.
In chasing the Sage we learn forgiveness.
Make the first move.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.