“If you have messed up and you find it continues to be an ache in your heart talk to a trusted friend, tell them what you’ve done. This is part of healing and restoration.” James 5:16 – Bud Lamb Translation
At key times in my life, this ancient pathway has been a place of tremendous breakthrough. The weight of my secret sins is lifted when I practice this element of the Christian lifestyle. You may come from another faith background where confession is a Sacrament that is administered by a Priest and absolves a person of guilt. If so, this may sound untrue; however, the Bible is clear on how sin is absolved; i.e. the finished work of Christ on the cross. (Romans 5:1-11)
The first person to go to when you’ve messed up is to God. He is the first offended and the quickest to forgive. God holds no grudges and wants to clean up the mess and help us get back on the road.
“But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins.” 1 John 1:9 Living Bible
If you find it continues to be an ache in your heart, you may find it helpful to talk it over with a trusted friend who will keep your conversation in complete confidence. “Confession” for the absolution of sin is made to God, not a man. The confession implied for us is to uncover something secret, share it with another we trust, who will, in turn, confirm to us God has completely covered our sin and things are “right” again between us and God.
I have practiced confession with my wife Lea Ann and a number of trusted friends (you know who you are).
When you “hear” the confession of a friend, put the judge and critic in you aside. Look at the log in your own eye, pause, and invite God into your heart asking Him for the grace to listen. Your job is to listen to what your friend has to say, remind them the sin is forgiven (1 John 1:9), and offer a Prayer of Remembrance. Keep it short. Use this as a framework:
Oh Father, here we are, two broken people. My friend has talked to you about this so it’s no surprise to You and You have already wiped the slate clean, forgiven completely, and my friend sits here with You holding nothing against them. Thank You Jesus for taking the hit. I bind the enemy from spewing guilt and shame on my friend. Thank You Holy Spirit for your comfort and encouragement in the deepest part of my friend’s heart. Amen
“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 NASB
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” John 8:7 NIV
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Pray
Yikes God, this sounds daunting! Tell someone else — my spouse — what I’ve done!!!! What if they hold it against me, shame me, and instead of reminding me I’m forgiven they ask for a divorce??? And God, help me to “hear” a confession by my spouse or friend in a way of tenderness and compassion for the ground is level at the cross. Amen
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