I am unlearning what it means to be a pastor. It is not easy, or pleasant to shed your skin – it is like scalping your own soul.
Reinvention is another word for unlearning.
This kind of reinvention happens while I am living and being as a human. It is like fixing a flat tire on a bicycle while riding.
For example, I am a follower of Jesus and at the same time an administrator of his ongoing work. I say to God “I have nothing to add to this conversation please give me wisdom and words to say to this couple who are considering divorce.”
This unlearning of my smug little 45 minute counseling sessions is unraveling me. Has been unraveling me for years. This isn’t something new. I have been unlearning so long.
I am unlearning what it means to do church. Very tricky. It’s not tricky if you want to draw a crowd – drawing a crowd is relatively easy. Charlie bit my finger has drawn over 225,000,000 views. Let’s say I am in the place where I am wondering about the what and how of doing church The why is clear – but what and how…this is the stuff for Jim Collins, Jesus and a few sitting on zafu’s [mine is green] in the Upper Room waiting for the Holy Spirit.
My unlearning of prayer is coming along well. I began many moons ago learning from my parents that praying consisted of “God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen.” I then learned that praying from pastors consisted of great oration spoken with a booming voice almost commanding the Almighty. Following great oration was the mystery and mastery of The Lord’s Prayer. These forms of prayer all have their place. What they lacked for me was heart and honesty. They were simply words void of heart and honesty. My unlearning of prayer is bringing me to intimate conversation about things that concern me, questions, amazements at the wind in the trees “How do you DO that God???” My unlearning of prayer brings me to being a child in God’s presence. And being comfortable with it.
I am unlearning what it means to be in community. Today my friend Jake talked about it in church. He played a clip from this by Alan Hirsch. Very interesting.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GfRdYOJNnI&feature=related]
I am,